To the Guy Who Made Me Feel like the Crazy One

I didn’t ask for you to enter my life. You entered that night, all sweet and caring. I’ll be honest, I thought nothing of it at first. You flirted and I flirted back.

It wasn’t until you grabbed me and kissed me, that I realized this could be something. It wasn’t until we ran off, from the rest of them and you took me to your favorite place, and asked me to slow dance, under the stars. The guy played acoustic guitar and I realized I could fall for you.

You initiated everything. I didn’t realize what I was getting into.

But I took the chance.

Only you didn’t want me as a person. You wanted me as a woman. You wanted me for what I was not who I was. And with that came a relationship, only physical. But, I had an inability to separate feelings and sex. You were merely a one-night stand, that should have only been the night. But somehow it lasted longer.

I didn’t ask for any of that. I didn’t ask to be the crazy one, but you made me that way…

Because you made me feel like I was the crazy one for caring.

Because you made me feel like a fool waiting around as you cancelled plans.

Because you made me participate in a game, I didn’t ask to play in.

Because you made me question every move and feel suddenly insecure.

Because you made me wanna try harder. I never felt like I was good enough.

Because you made me feel like I was a burden when I looked forward to time spent together.

Because the only endearing words, came with alcohol pressed between your lips.

Because the fights we got into, you told me I was the one over reacting.

Because you had the nerve to make me feel bad for caring about you.

Because you were quick to take. But the only thing you gave me were tears.

Because your friends didn’t like me. But you never said anything defending me.

Because you only ever wanted me drunk.

Because you let me fall for you, with no intension of catching me.

But you made me better. You taught me to never settle for assholes like you.

But you made me better. You taught me to never let someone treat me that way again.

But you made me better. I gained self respect, when I walked away.

But you made me better. Because my real friends stepped forward, that night I hit rock bottom.

But I’ll take a moment to thank you most of all for your time, even though mine was wasted. For your words, even though only mine were only ones that were ever genuine. For teaching me through examples of the person I don’t deserve.

And when time comes and we cross paths again, just know when you are looking back at me as I walk away, my head won’t turn for a moment.

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About kirstencorley

Grew up in Jersey. Love for writing, traveling and charity work.
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