Finding the Good in Goodbye, After Walking Away

I wanted to move far away enough from you, that even if I looked back, I wouldn’t be tempted to turn around. But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you every day.

It doesn’t mean I don’t think about you.

It doesn’t mean you don’t still visit me in my dreams.

It doesn’t mean you aren’t still with me.

Quite contrary actually, sometimes it seems like you are more alive than ever, because I refuse to let you die within me.

It’s beautifully haunting in a way.

Like I said, if I ever did lose you, I think I’d lose myself a little.

So I’ll keep a piece of you with me.

“I have no idea where you are out there in the world. But I understand that I lost the right to know these things long ago.” -Dear John 

But if there is anything I’d like you to know, it’s that it wasn’t the lack of love that caused us to drift. In fact, I think the love was so strong, we each knew it. But, sometimes you gotta come to accept love isn’t always the answer.

Maybe one day it will be. Maybe one day we’ll find each other again. Maybe one day we’ll be right.

But the thing about trying to be right at the wrong time, is it may cause destruction in the process. It causes a stunt of growth, when you try to be something you just aren’t.

Sometimes we need to grow part and grow alone, in order to even discover if we’ll ever grow back together.

And then sometimes you grow apart forever.

So while it came with a heavy heart and tearful smile saying goodbye, I want you to know, there isn’t a person I’ve ever loved as deeply. There isn’t a single person, who could ever make me forget you. There isn’t a goodbye that has ever hurt as much.

“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we’ve found each other. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. ” -Nicholas Sparks 

So we’ll walk down our own paths and maybe one day they will cross again.

Maybe one day, when we are the people we need to be we’ll get it right. Maybe one day, we won’t have to pretend to be something we aren’t. Maybe one day, it will be as simple as it’s suppose to be.

The way I see it, saying goodbye is the only chance we have at saying hello again. But sometimes you discover yourself along that road you walk alone.

We have no way of knowing what lies ahead for either of us, but all we can ever do is take the information we have and try our best.

So this is me wishing you the best in your future, being grateful for the past and hopeful that maybe our paths will cross again.
“No matter how many years go by, I know one thing to be as true as ever was – I’ll see you soon then.” -Dear John

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About kirstencorley

Grew up in Jersey. Love for writing, traveling and charity work.
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